by Joe White

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released July 21, 2016

Joe White - Music/Lyrics/Words/Recording/Mixing
Emma Meltzer - Narration/Vocals
Tim Race - Mastering (Thump Studios)




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Joe White Brooklyn, New York

Joe White is a composer and performer in Brooklyn.

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Track Name: Meat Magnate Mackey
Meat Magnate Mackey
Showing polaroids of his baloney pony

All made up to look Swedish
Photoshopped to seem young
Got that shine to look tasty
Stirrups flash in the sun

"Ain't she a beaut!" he bellows
Faint of heart hide your eyes
You pass that bill promptly
He'll let you go for a ride

Oh, but it looks so unhealthy!
Grey and dry on the sides
Don't you think you should rest it?
"Not at all!" he replies

'Cause in the Gainer container all bets are off
And you'll learn to love yourself
If you can't catch a wave or grind your spurs
Just pretend you're someone else

Bank Bigwig Bentley
Stole the polaroids of the baloney pony
Found them perched on a humidor
as Mackey was chewing a bone
Spread some grease on his abdomen
And made his new photos a home

Oh! But they chafe something dreadful
especially when you're squirming prone
don't you think you should remove them?
"Not at all!" Bentley moans...
Track Name: Special Dad
Gainer's got a Special Dad
The only one he's ever had
A portrait that can talk and think
and scheme and drink...

As a young man
Boomwaggle's thighs ran
with the grease, no peace
doctors said it wouldn't cease
Each day the ooze flowed
as the quantity would grow
So he had an operation
a 2-D regeneration

Now he's rendered in oils
never ages: he's the sagest
when his passions on the boil

Gainer was a special lad
a product of his portrait dad
Spawned in labs and raised to serve
his father's word...
Track Name: Pete Seeger Songs
He will only work that shlong
if Pete Seeger's on
He can only reach heaven
if Pete's turned to eleven
The only way to pull his levers
is to spin cuts by the Weavers

Not Woody, nor Arlo
nor Bobby, or Joan
But just Pete, singing "This Land..."
Can make Gainer groan
Track Name: Grease of the Thighs
When I was at prep school I had a whole bunk to myself
like a lonely monk by myself
'cept for shower days
when I'd run through the spray and howls
of upperclassmen thugs with snapping towels singing:

"Where didja get those thighs my lad
Where didja get those thighs?
With grease that seeps from an oily deep
Like Frankenstein, we'll drive you far away!"

There are still times when all I do is moan
When wrapping my thighs at our country home
Muffy goes for a walk - she knows to give me some space
When I have to slip and slide in the

Grease of my thighs
Grease of my grease of my
Track Name: Wild Brisket Parties
Whada I gotta do to put you in a brisket party?
It's a way to brush off shame
It's the flex of the pubis
Like a pierogi with moving parts

You'll never get the stretch marks outta your thumbs
You'll never get the smell out of your tongue

Wanna taste that shine?
Wanna watch men find themselves?
Wanna fill your colon with smoke?

Why don't you taste the flame?
Why don't you suck the blade?
Why doncha swing the gavel 'round
Give it up
Give it up

You're running trains on entitlement reforms all day
Give it up
Give it up
Time to swank and drop a load
Hoover lines of blow off a row of dinner rolls

Whatta I gotta do to getcha in a brisket party?
Track Name: Murder!
Gainer knows the justice'll be alone
He's even got a key to Falucci's home
Finds him greased and prone
Watching passion plays on his phone
Exploring Jesus with his thumbs
Licking wafer crumbs

But then!

Three stabs to the back
One down two to go
Three stabs to the back
One down two to go

Through the rain drives a hummer to J. Finley's hotel
Finds him solo in the lounge
reading letters on the couch
snorting 'caine through a rolled up program
tapping rhythms with his hands

Three shots to the dome
Two down one to go
Three shots to the dome
Two down one to go

Now it's late and he's oh-so-tired
only schemes of dreams in feather beds
and scented steams
to wash his greasy creams

'Cause killing is a young stallion's game
Track Name: Maggie Can Take a Hint
Maggie takes the hint
She can read between the lines
She anticipates the snap of the neck
and her cries

She knows that Gainer's got her marked
because whatever Falucci spilled
He should have kept it in his sack
Should have rubbed it out in private
Should have kept that knowledge quiet

One death could be an accident
but two must prove a fact:
that in a room
on a wall
is a painting with a killer at his beck and call

However mad it seems two corpses mean
the world is filled with lies and spies
and twists and turns
and now she knows her only hope is striking first

and now she knows her only hope is striking first
Track Name: Steam and Grease
Gainer's getting slathered with the steam
dreaming of the creams he deems appropriate
to love his body
when it seems to him
the pants he wore before he slung them 'cross a beam
were lighter than they should have been.

Damn it all!
his keys are missing
he suddenly recalls them twisting to the bottom
of a tub of gin
after Senator Mike Rzewski raised concerns
about the burn scars he got in 'Nam
chafing accidentally against the jagged metal
swinging jauntily from Gainer's belt

"Have a drink!" shrieked Gainer to his keychain
as he flung it'cross the room
and returned to the pleasure that was his duty
and his due
That was seven hours ago
and surely those keys remained
nestled at the bottom of that silver pool

"Damn it all!"
he bellows as he drags himself
away from steam and dreams
to head upstairs for the keys
but then to find that few things are just as they seem

Maggie follows Kent's grease trail across the floor
discovers those keys poorly hidden in a drawer
takes a look around and thinks it's safe
Opens up the door with a smile on her face

Oh, the secrets you will find
Oh, the shame you kept inside
Track Name: Boomwaggle
He will always be
He has always been
Boomwaggle always wins
Oh, Boomwaggle always wins

Always will he be
Always has he been
Boomwaggle always wins
Oh, Boomwaggle always wins